Do you blame your credit card problems on your wife or husband spending habits while ignoring your own?
How I View Credit Cards:
First, let me say that I personally enjoy and using credit cards, but only when it’s to my financial advantage. I even use my Chase Freedom Credit Card when I buy items from fast food restaurants (every little bit adds up for reward credit cards!) That said, whenever I do use credit cards I try to live by 1 golden rule: “Pay My Total Credit Card Balance Off Each And Every Month”. This is my mantra and what I live by, not being able to do so means I lose the credit card game.
I guess to me, credit cards really are a game, and a game that so far I’m good at. I use the cards for the discounts on products but always pay off the balance in full each month so I don’t pay any fees of any sort.
But I’m fortunate in that I have a spouse that is playing the same game as I am, and even better at it, which leads me into my primary topic for this article:
Blaming Your Credit Card Debt On Your Spouse:
A few years ago, I had a friend that was complaining to me about how his wife continually spend money via their credit cards. He was telling me how buying “happy meals” at McDonalds and other small purchases like clothes for the kids, added up and was the crux of all of their credit card problems. Now I could have believe him, thinking that perhaps his wife wasn’t shopping frugally and that she would could cook at home instead of going to McDonalds every other day, but then he told me how he was going out to Vegas next month and again in late summer.
So my friend would come home and find McDonald’s toys from the “Happy Meals” and complain to his wife, but he would silently ignore his “big” purchases in the same breathe. Oh his wife would find out about some of his big purchases, after all, it’s kind of hard to hide a new big screen TV, but he would always have some deal saving story about how it only cost half the price it normally would have, or was almost free, or was sold to him by a friend cheap.
Credit Cards
Dissection of Credit Card Debt:
So you might be thinking, what a jerk that guy must be, and to be honest, I thought so too. But a good chuck of people (if not the majority) that live by impulse. This is probably why the “pet rock” was able to somehow be a selling sensation… This action and behavior can be controlled much like any behavior can be controlled with the proper tools.
So if you aren’t logical and you don’t have any fear of spending money or going into debt, how will you improve? I hate to say this but I would recommend a decent “fee only” financial adviser. Someone that has a good reputation in your area that can dissect both your debt and who and how your money is getting spent.
Like Charles Dicken’s quote in his book “David Copperfield“:
“Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen pounds nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery”
A good financial adviser should be able to give you tips to save money on certain spending habit you have, and could even setup some sort of practical budget for you and your spouse to follow.
If you are having credit card problems, consider using a spreadsheet to add up and account for the items that you purchased over the last 4 or 6 months, perhaps you’ll be surprise to find that the real credit card problem may be you…
Good luck,
MR
You and I have the same beliefs regarding credit cards. I love my rewards, but if I coudn’t make my monthly payment, I would cut my Amex blue cash card up instantly.
Arguing about finances would be a bummer. Hiding or justifying expenses would just be draining.
I think if I couldn’t pay off the balance every month, I would cut them up too.
I believe that we are master of the card instead of the cards being master over us (and yes this is a play on the word mastercard lol).
I’m totally with you. I’m kind of like Scrooge McDuck, pouring over my credit card summary each month.
I love blaming the spouse for a lot of things, but for credit card use it would be pretty easy since I don’t use one. I personally avoid using credit cards so I won’t get into debt. I invest for a living and being without a credit card has worked well for me throughout my lifetime.
Since I few using a rewards credit card as a discount on purchases, and since we always pay off our balance every month, I few it as a great benefit (around $1000 every year) in using the “reward” cards to my advantage.
I agree with Mark. My wife and I don’t use credit card. We have a business card from Amex. I use that to pay for the big ticket items. And pay it off monthly. It allowed us to fly free to Europe in first class. So, smart usage of credit card offers some goodies.
Sounds like you agree with me more 🙂
I’m advocating the exact move that you are doing, expect with consumer credit cards.
Of course if any of my side businesses take off, I’m signing up for a business credit card too!
I admire your position on credit cards. I just wrote a scathing post on my negative view of credit cards. They are just not for me anymore, but those that can play the game can be very effective I guess.
My credit cards save me money by giving me discounts! 🙂
As long as I’m in control and continue to pay them off in full every month, they are great in my opinion…
I think sometimes we blame others because in them we see our own flaws…
Possible. I know with my son, I use to be hard in correcting his errors, seeing may of my weaknesses in him. But I changed and let him figure it out and he’s doing much better.
As a single guy, this has never been a problem. However, I have seen this argument in the past. Family finances are a shared endeavor and it is important to work together for success.
Many people love their credit cards—some perhaps a little too much. Your post does a nice job of discussing the blame that can get transferred between spouses when a household has acquired too much debt, and you are correct to call for more acceptance of personal responsibility in these cases. I believe that one of the biggest misperceptions my clients tend to have when considering bankruptcy is that they will never be able to have credit cards again. Nothing could be further from the truth, as people filing Chapter 7 or Chapter 13 are inundated with new credit card offers almost immediately after filing. However, those offers need to be treated with care so individuals do not end up getting into the same situation all over again.