Category Archives: Kids

The Best Time To Have Children

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After reading UtimateMoneyBlog.com‘s piece on “You can’t afford to have children“, I decided to state my opinion on when to have children.  

When to have kids

   

First, let me state that my initial decision on when to have children was wrong!  I wanted to have children after I was somewhat financially stable and had enough money to do as I please.  This decision on my part was way off, because we would have been past the age bearing years before this truly happened, Doh!  My wife is the one who ripped into me about wanting to have children, now (which was 1999, and so we had our son in 2000).  Looking back, I now see that she was right, and I’m very glad we did.  I love my kids more than anything in this world!!!  

My initial thought process was I’ll have children when I can afford to spend the money on them to do it right.  By doing it right, I meant being able to afford any college, and enable my kids to participate in any sports, horseback riding, motorcycles and excellent vacations.  I wanted them to have the nicest clothes, and the best things in life.  The only problem with this line of thinking was that I would never be able to afford them.  

You see, after we bought our house, and we were pretty sure my job was secure for the next 5 years, my wife was ready!  I wasn’t so sure…  I just took on the largest amount of debt ever (I knew I couldn’t pay this off in a month, a year or even a couple of years!).  So I thought let’s wait a few more years, get some financial security under the old belt so to speak…  

Here is what my wife said that convinced me otherwise: 

  • We are young now, as we age, having children later in life is more risky (birth defect and other problems).
  • We are active now and we want to do things with our children.  Even if we do have money later, we might not have the same activity level as we do now.
  • Since we were both working, we have a great financial base if one of use loses their job.
  • She stated she really had a strong desire to have children now!  The biological clock must have been ticking!
  • The bar and partying scene was getting old.  We were both out of college with careers and all of our friends were having babies around this time.  Given that the bar and partying scene was great and we have many fun and wild memories, that lifestyle has diminishing returns as you age…  There is more to life that getting hangover every weekend or so…  Plus, it’s expensive!

So when would be a bad time to have children? 

 Any time before 22 if you want the best for your child…  IMO, those are the years to fall in love with your spouse!  Have excellent budgeted vacations together!  Create some memories, and do activities together… become a team (or become one), bond to greater depths…  And at the same time, try to save some money for your future!  You’ll have plenty of time to have kids (check with your doctor to make sure there aren’t any problems if you feel insecure about this!).  

 When is the best financial time to have kids? 

 The best time in my opinion is when you have a financial plan in place that makes sense and you are in control of your finances.  This would mean calculate it out via a financial advisor, a knowledgeable friend or family member, or (as was in our case) using a financial health spreadsheet that we created based on our financial situation.  Time are different now though, I’m sure there are more modern software tools out there (maybe www.mint.com)!  Create a financial baseline, and determine where the gyrations occur throughout the year (because they do!), and whether you are saving more than you are spending!  If you are spending more then you are saving, fix it!  Remember that a child will cost you a lot, (average cost to raise a child to age 17 is $221,000).  College will cost another $200,000 (if you want to pay their way, which I do).  You don’t have to be rich, but develop and control your financial reality, don’t go into this naive!  

When is the best overall time to have children in my opinion? 

If you have your financial house in order (or at least an understanding of it), then between the ages of 23 thru 32 for women.  Hopefully, this will give you time to start building financial stability!  I have to say, the earlier side of this equation is better from a biological aspect!  So get your financial life together quickly! 

What do you think? 

-D

Creating Priceless Bedtime Stories For Kids

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This post is something that could potentially be of great value to you  in your future and more importantly in your child’s future.  The value is more in a memories category though, not monetary value.  That said, I would have paid a decent amout of money to have recorded them. 

Creating memories and stories

The Background: 

When my son was 5, every Friday, I tried to tell him original bedtime stories.  Unfortunately, I was bad at it.  So I did what any creatively struggling Dad would do with his son…  I made up a story about a superhero (I our case Batman, my first attempt was Spiderman, but that flopped)…  Batman was easy, because of the dual identity, the cool gadgets and vehicles, and of course the Batcave! 

My partially made up Batman stories were a hit, my son looked forward to hearing them each Friday.  I even tried to imbed morals and a bit of a life lessons in some of them.  It was so much easier then trying to come up with an original story about of the blue.  Don’t get me wrong, even using the Batman themed stories, was tough, after all I was making the stories up in real time (I had a lot of Ummms and pauses initially, but I got better).  After a while, he started in on the creative process telling his own stories after mine.  Surprisingly, he liked to tell Spongebob Squarepants stories.  He started these when he was six.  We had a great time, and we have some solid memories!  I wish I had recorded them, but unfortunately, I didn’t (please consider Camcording these stories if you decide to try this)!  I would pay a pretty penny to have all of his stories in a recorded format today (and I’m sure I would be will to pay a lot more in the future, this “miss” is truly a lost treasure). 

As he turned 6, then 7, the stories moved to every other Friday and I had to change the format (he no longer liked Batman as much).  So we had some Fireman, and the Star Wars Jedi stories… and then when his life became busier (sports, pokemon, homework, legos and Nintendo DS…) we eventually stopped all together. 

Now it’s my daughter’s turn.  This time things are different, I’m not using a popular character like Dora or My little Petshop animal (although she probably would enjoy those type of stories too).  Instead, I’m creating different worlds and travelling back in time to tell my stories.  Now we talk about a girl in a magical castle that looks a lot like my daughter, or we teleport to the world of “Azul”, where this word is completely water covered except for 1 small island.  In Azul, our human equivalents live in the water and are mermaid-like creatures.  It’s also different this time too, because periodically, my daughter will create illustrations (that’s what she calls them instead of pictures) that go with her stories (she does this earlier in the day), in anticipation.  Like my son, we do a story exchange.  Great memories…  I still need to camcord or at least audio record the storytelling.  Now that I’m writing this, I think I will do that for the next storytime sessions (they occur on every other Friday).  It’s funny how by my writing about it now, I finally realize that these story sessions are worth a lot to me.  Not to mention my wife, perhaps she would like to hear a story that our daughter created! 

I know this isn’t a typical financial post, but I would like to say that the bonding with your child and the memories formed while telling such stories could someday be a great treasure your child will cherish in their adult lives. 

Even if you don’t want to expend the energy on creating your own stories (although I would encourage doing so), just reading stories at night time once a week could be a great experience too!  My wife reads the kids a story every night except Fridays (that’s my night), and they seem to really enjoy it. 

I really enjoyed hearing my kid’s made up stories.  Some of the ones my daughter has told me has floored me!  She’s getting pretty good at it!

Why I'm Not As Frugal When It Comes To Raising My Kids

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Trying To Frugally Raising Kids

I consider myself a frugally balanced guy!  If there is a way that I can save a buck, without too much hassle, you can bet I’ll try it.  So I don’t wear expensive clothes.  If you were to see me working around my house, you’d think I didn’t have much money and was just scraping by.  I’m the type of guy that will try to make my things last as long as possible.  Even at the expense of the aesthetics of the possession.

So, you’d think that I’d be just as cheap with my family, trying to get my kids to wear there shoes and clothes as long as possible, but this is not so…  I try to get my kids involved in as many sports or extra activities as possible.  I also like to buy them new shoes whenever theirs gets old or too dirty looking.  I try to encourage my wife to make my kids the most healthy meals as possible too (I may have to start cooking a bit more, for this to happen).  I do make my kids buy their own stuff, since they get an allowance.  If it wasn’t for our kids, we wouldn’t have gone to Disney last year…

So what are the Reasons that I’m “less frugal” when it comes to my kids?

  • They only get to be a kid once!  So I try to make it the best I can for them.
  • My son and daughter’s health is very important to me, so I get new shoes when they need them, and try to make sure they get good nutrition.
  • My kids are exceptionally good kids.  They are both a joy to be around, so I try to cut them some slack.
  • My wife is the hard one on them, so I try to buffer out the strictness, life should be fun.
  • I want my kids to have the opportunities I didn’t have as a kid.
  • It’s a different world then when I was a kid, now kids just have more things…

 This is a very tempting area to let “lifestyle creep” get out of control.  I know as my kids get older they will get more expensive.  I’m already starting to think about starting to save money for a car for each of them.  Not to mention the cost of insurance each car will add.  This will be a battle that I will be fighting with myself on.

 I do know if you plan early (I did this with their college saving accounts; it can become a more manageable task).  The trick is to treat future kid expenses as any regular expense early.  If you are young and just starting your family, sock away money in a fund for child expenses now.  Trusts me, it will come in handy later down the road!

I’m trying to achieve the best balance as possible when it comes to being frugal with my kid’s activies and needs.  Luckily, my kids don’t ask for much 🙂

-D

Christmas Presents That I’m Excited About

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I got the usually presents for Christmas… jeans and a few work shirts.

So why did I call the title “Christmas Presents That I’m Excited About“?  Because they are my son’s presents (mostly)!

I have a secret confession to make:  I like living Christmas vicariously through my son.  Yep, it’s true!  And this year was awesome for me my son!

We He got the following presents:

  • Mind Flex – This is a game that where you connect an apparatus to you head, then concentrating on a ball, it then rises and falls based on how hard you focus on the ball.  This is an awesome game for kids that love Star Wars.  It’s the closest thing that I’ve see that will let a kid “Use the FORCE“.  I can’t wait to try it soon!
  • Golf Clubs – I’m just an occasional golfer, even my 9 year old son “putts” better than I do.  But he’s been using odds and end golf clubs, with a set designed for his height, he might match my score next year.  We’ll see, it should be great fun (not to mention the bonding experience of such a father and son activity).  I have taken my (then) 5 year old daughter to the driving range already too.
  • Air Hogs Police Helicopter – This is actually my son’s 4th one of these.  The first three were handled a bit to roughly, and they didn’t last long…  My son has better control now…  I’ll get to play with this soon too.
  • Foosball Table– He actually got this 2 years ago, but he was too small to use it.  We have a ping pong table setup downstairs, and he now gives me a run for my money on it, so now I’ll build the Foosball table, and we’ll play that too.  Besides, I might actually invite some old friends over and we’ll play perhaps will play it some too.
  • Star Wars Legos – I won’t play with this (or build it…), but I have to admit, these sets are cool to explore once they are build.  My son loves all of the Star Wars sets.
  • Stephen King’s “Under the Dome” – Okay, this isn’t my son’s… this is my wife’s present.  I’m a big fan of Stephen King.  My wife collects his novels in her own personal library.  Stephen King is one of the authors that I read as a college student, and I’ve been hooked on them ever since.  I won’t get to this for a month or 2, but I’m patient…

Of all the presents, the one that I will enjoy the most is the Golf Clubs.  Actually the time spend golfing with my son this summer is what I’m excited about.  He is just growing so fast, and I want to spend as much quality time with him as possible.  Hopefully, this will be another memory created for him (along with our Christmas Traditions memory), so he can look back and remember those times fondly.

We’re lucky, I found a relatively cheap course to go to.  Then again, we even have fun just going to the driving range.  We conclude our golf outings with a quick trip to a local ice cream place where I buy my son a chocolate peanut butter pie treat (his favorite).

This coming year we’ll try to go every other week, either to the golf range or actually playing golf.

So really the best present that I got this Christmas is the time that I’ll get to spend with my son playing golf next summer.  Of course, I’ll do the same with my daughter once she gets older too…

That is why I’m really excited for next year to come!