1st Reason For Not Sharing Financial Information
Money Is All Encompassing! I hate to say this, but money is much more than the tool I like to make it out to be. Having money can define ourselves in the role we plan in the societal position in our community. Being rich can even invoke feelings of inadequacy in others that lack it.
It’s sad, but if you are much more successful than your peers, you can to some degree, even hurt their feelings by telling them how rich you are while they are so much poorer in comparison. Anything nice that you spend your money on, you have to realize that your friends and neighbors will think something along the lines of “Oh, they are rich, they can afford it”. Meaning that they can’t because they themselves aren’t rich.
Another concern with telling your friends that you are rich could be that it changes your friendship in some way that makes it different. Wouldn’t you hate to lose a dear friend because they despise you? Or have the relationship change from one of mutual respect, to a more confrontational or subservient role? Sometimes it’s better to leave well enough alone!
2nd Reason For Not Sharing Financial Information
Gossip and news travel quickly! If you tell your friends that you are rich, a small or neighborhood community knows about it quickly, and sometimes for the worst. Time and time again, I hear stores about someone’s house getting broken into and things stolen because the family has riches in the house.
Oh, for the most part, I don’t believe your friends are doing the breaking in, but as the information that you are rich grow in your area, that puts you at risk for being a victim. Perhaps you tell your son that your family is wealthy, then he tells friends and it just grow from there… This is an excellent reason that parents shouldn’t really disclose to their children that they are rich. Especially when the are young or teens.
Tell your kids that you have done well when they are young, but don’t give them and exact amount that you may have in the bank. Often time, kids assume you have much less than you may have, especially if you’ve lived a frugal life all along. If someone asks you about it, you can explain that your child thought having $1,000 made you rich…
Educating Your Family With Financial Information
If you decide to try to teach your kids the actions you’ve done to become successful, perhaps only show them a small part of your wealth. That way, they get the lesson you are trying to teach, but not going to tell everybody and their cousin that their parents are loaded!
What do you think, do you brag that you are almost as rich as Warren Buffett to everyone, or if you have money, do you just enjoy the charms of small town living without making it complicated?
MR
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All great tips, especially number 3 about teaching children about finances. My in-laws were the best with this. They live well below their means, give away freely, and save/invest for the future.
I think finances is a great thing for kids to pickup via their parents. We teach our kids to be frugal and live the same way (for the most part).
I agree with not sharing. I see so many bloggers post about their total net worth. I never understood why they want to share such personal information to the entire world.
I don’t mind blogger so much, especially if they are semi-anonymous. But if you are wealthy and blog and totally open, I’m not so crazy from a safety perspective about that. I wish them the best, but I’m a little nervous for them too.
Great post. I agree, we should keep these matters private. Not only do you avoid expectation that way but you also protect yourself. I don’t like to say too much about where we are at with exact numbers. I prefer to just share lessons learned.
I think that is a wise route that you have choosen 🙂
The number doesn’t matter, it the journey that counts make the number materialize
Well eveyone knows we aren’t rich! When one of our sons was getting ready to go away to college he bought a picture frame for his dorm room. It was $15 & our money. I told him to take it back & get a $3 frame. Later when I started to talk with him about not spending too much money in college because we were on a tight budget he stopped me mid-sentence. He said, “Mom that $15 picture frame told me all I need to know!:
Wow $15 for a frame! I would have made him take it back too! While $15 isn’t a huge amount, it is for a picture frame!
Great story, thanks for sharing!
Under certain circumstances I’m ok with sharing financial details. Only with a trusted friend, in private, and a two-way conversation, with the understanding that the conversation stops there. It’s a good way to help and learn from each other.
With a trusted friend that can keep a secret and is on the same financial or at least employment level, I think I would too in that case!
I only share some information with family members only. Of course I share everything with my wife.
I would be willing to share the info with my kids once they get to or out of college, and of course my wife knows too!
You make some great arguments here, and I agree wholeheartedly. I try to divulge as little info as possible.
I’ve hear too many stories about people getting rip off by sharing what they have…
I think that sharing financial information can be beneficial, but it depends how it comes up — whether you’re rich or not. It would be pretty weird to go around saying “I’m rich” to your friends and neighbors. But if someone brought up questions about money and asked for your opinion on say, investing, it might make sense to explain how you invest and what percentage increase your portfolio has seen, for example.
I wouldn’t mind doing that with a very close friend…
I give limited disclosure. It’s important to be authentic without being inconsiderate. This doesn’t give people license to know all your details, but some details are enough to communicate your points/situation IMHO.
Exactly, and besides, I know personally I’ve felt envy when I met someone way better off than I am. Of course I chastise myself internally and act as normal as possible. Now that I more money, the gaps in wealth aren’t as intimidating.