Tag Archives: raising kids

Life is more than cartoons and crayons

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I’m having second thoughts about the way that I’m raising my kids.

Let me provide some background on my kids first, just to give you a point of reference.

  • Both kids get straight A’s in school, and do sports and other activities.
  • Both kids have good money management skills, thanks to the fact that the both have an allowance.
  • Both are respectful and well-mannered.
  • People are always telling us how great our kids are.

So what’s my problems?  Why am I writing this rant?  Am I insane?  maybe…

While I pat both my wife and I on our backs about the kids, I have to wonder if I can make it better, especially with respect to finances and entrepreneurship.

Initially, instead of teaching them to work for money, I wanted to teach them first to manage money, then eventually to make money work for them.  This is in stark contrast to the way I was raised.  I did a lot of chores, and got paid for certain chores.  While my kids have to make their beds and occasionally pick up their room, they don’t really get paid for doing chores, per say.  And this is my problem.  How do they learn to earn money if they aren’t earning money?

Rich Kid

Green with Envy, but Already Rich?

I’ll come home and see my kids either watching cartoons or other shows, or creating something (usually drawing or writing a short story), or playing minecraft…  To me this is wasted time and energy (although I have to admit, I do like my daughter’s short stories and drawings).  How do I encourage their business savvy without making it a chore?  I’m starting to wonder if I should require them to work for their allowance like I had to do as  kid… In hopes that such an allowance model would make them more money-wise.

My oldest is only 12, so perhaps I’m being to critical.  After all, in comparison, I can’t hold a candle to either of them.

I’m the parent, so it’s really up to me to show them the other paths than just watching TV and doodling.

Time to refocus and think.

Bests,

Don

SAHM versus Daycare

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I recently posted an article called “Why We Didn’t Buy The Most House We Could Afford ” in which I stated that the real reason we went this route was so that we wouldn’t be house rich and cash poor.  As an example, I stated that one of the primary reasons that we went this route was so that my wife could be a SAHM (Stay at Home Mom).  This is something that she wanted to do, and luckily, we were in a position to do it.

Interestingly, most of the comments were steered toward the example (my wife being a SAHM) instead of the real reason “being house rich and cash poor” part.  So with this article, I decided to step out of my warm fuzzy financial realm and think a bit further about the Daycare option versus the SAHM option.

Let me say that I’ve just deleted 500 words on the 2 options, and now I’m starting over again.  Why?  Because of the variability within each of the 2 options!  There are both bad SAHMs and bad Daycare facilities and great SAHM and decent Daycare facilities.  For each case, it really does depend on the SAHM and the Daycare options, parameters and individual variables…

So instead I decided to talk about what my wife did…

First, my wife breast-fed both of our kids.  This was advantageous from both a cost and health perspective.  For a great writeup on the benefits both from a health and cost perspective, check out this article –> (How Much Money Can You Save By Breastfeeding? ).  If you read that article, breastfeeding/breast milk is a superior option.

Before my kids started school, I was always surprised when coming home to see what the day’s project was, sometimes it be playdoh creations, paintings, or whatever the latest bug that were caught for analysis.

My kids have been involved with swimming lessons, soccer, gymnastics,, t-ball, baseball, basketball, storytime at the library, lego club, science club, girl scouts, etc… ever since they were practically old enough to walk.

Both of my kids could read and do basic math before the started school, and both currently (although my daughter didn’t at first) enjoy school very much.

I’m just touching the tip of the iceberg on why being a SAHM for my wife was a better option for us.

I have to admit, I was on the fence about having my wife be a SAHM.  She made good money as an Accountant, and after looking at a few online calculators, we would be quite a bit more wealthy (although we are still above average for our income class).

So, in the end, I have to go with a Charlie Brown answer and say that it really does depend on the parent when deciding to go either the SAHM or Daycare route for anyone else other than my wife.  But I can definitely say that for our kids, the SAHM route was the best for us…

I admit it really doesn’t matter whether a child is raised during the workdays by a SAHM or a Daycare facility, at least if the parent isn’t totally passionate about the task of being a SAHM to begin with.  After all, I’m not a SAHM child and look how wonderful I turned out (Ack).

Cat

I'm Okay

 

Care to share?  Please add to the conversation, I’d really like to hear your thoughts and experiences!

-MR

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Outsourcing The Partial Raising Of My Kids

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No, I’m not giving my kids away!!!

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that people from different age groups might be able to provide things that I’m not capable of.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to wipe my hands of the job entirely, just augment it a bit… 

 

From the age 20s age group: 

My sister and her husband have taken my kids for a few weekends and spend time with my kids during the holidays.  During these time periods, I try to let my sister and brother-in-law play with my kids interact with my kids as much as possible while I disappear onto a different floor to read.

 

From Older Age Groups:

With the parents, usually the kids visit them for the day or stay overnight.  My parents (both mine and my wife’s) are able to teach my kids skills that I just don’thave or know.  My father-in-law is a great craftsman, so my son will learn woodworking from him.  My dad is an engineer, so hopefully my son will be able to improve this natural ability with math and science. 

My mother-in-law has many skills: cooking, painting, sewing, gardening, etc!  My daughter will learn tons from her too!

 

I mention this because in a few weeks we’ll be going on vacation!  This year are we going to Hilton Head, with my parent and sister’s family.  For me it will be a time of relaxation and time to catchup on reading.  During this time period I will do stuff with the kids, but I like taking a second seat with respect to the attention that they receive from others.  When everybody else is tired and my kids still want to do stuff, that’s when I take over.  I did this last year, and I’ll do it again this year.

What do you think of my approach?  Do you think that I’m broading my kids experiences or does this just confuse them?

-MR

Are Kids Being Raised The Best They Possibly Could Be?

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I’m starting to doubt that my kids are being raised correctly. 

I starting to believe that my kids (really all of our kids) are not being raised the most optimally as possible!

Why do I use the word optimally?  Because our kids are raise much better than some countries and overall, they have a very easy life.  But in a world where kids watch that very influential educator Mr. TV, are they really learning developing a sense of what is important in life?

Are we molding our children’s mind based on the teaching of the very influential Sponge Bob?  Are they learning to be goofy goobers?

What if we readers, were also raised as goofy goobers, but in a different generation?  Now we have a society of older goofy goobers teaching kids to be new goofy goobers, by letting them watch mind numbing shows similar to what we watched as kids…  No wander immigrants are more inclined to become entreupenuers that the local born population.

But even more importantly than restricting the amount of TV they watch, are we teaching them on how to be responsible and helping them to develop skills?  Currently, my kids don’t do any chores at all.  I’m starting to think this may be spoiling them.  Perhaps they believe that things should just magically happen for them?  I think that if all they experience growing up is good times, then when they are an adult, life may be difficult for them.  Any mild downturn, may confuse and frustrate them.  Will adult life be disappointing and unfulfilling for them?  Perhaps a little pain growing up make the pain later in life more manageable?

While nothing has caused me to write about this topic, it does have me wondering if I’m doing the best job of teaching and raising them as I possibly can. 

I’m don’t have a manual for what to do, so I try to give an equal balance of things that I think are important for them and their growth.

Ironically, I believe I have a good grasp around the financial teaching… it’s the other stuff I’m worried about!  This seems to be opposite to the general population.

-MR