Income Loss From My Wife Being a Stay at Home Mom

After posting “How I Have Lost Over Half A Million Dollars Having Kids, So Far!”, I started thinking about how many of my family and friend’s spouses work.

Let me start with our parents… Both sets of parents work.  All the people I know at work, their spouse works.  My boss who makes at least twice as much as I do, spouse works.  Where I live, only one other neighbor’s spouse doesn’t work, the rest do.  My college-educated sister and brother-in-law (great people), both work.  My sister is having a baby in Feb. 2010, and she claims she’s going back to work a few weeks after the baby is born.  They already make more than me…

So, I decided to go out to the website:  money.com to use their calculator for net worth and see what the median (the median, mind you) net worth would be for someone in our conservatively theoretical income range!  The number came out to be $644,100.

Missed Income

Missed Income

And that is the median!  Both my wife and I are very frugal and based on our frugality habits, I recalculated the number…  I figured for us it would be somewhere in the $800,000 to $900,000 range, Grrrr!

Who is to blame for this?  Well, unfortunately, me!  My wife and I discussed whether she would work or stay home raising the kids years before we had our first child.  I told her once I make over a certain amount, she could stay home.  Ironically, I accomplished that number more quickly then I imagined, and so she stayed at home after my son was born. In hindsight, I don’t think this was the most prudent move on our part.  It especially hits home seeing my 20 something sister start to pass me already with respect to net worth, did I mention that both she and my brother-in-law are both studying for their MBAs?  In a future post, I’ll have to tell the story about how my sister won a free house. So now that I know I’m behind compared to our theoretical income group’s class, what can I do?  I’m thinking it’s time to start some side hustling (frugaldad.com’s coined-phrase).

How do I feel about my discovery?

Sad, but not too disappointed.  My kids are doing very well in all aspects of their development.  It’s a hefty price to pay though, especially when we’re practically the only ones doing it these days in a world of the two-income earner households.  Shoot, If we had that money now, I could go into a semi-retirement state if I wanted to (I’m not old enough to think about that now though)… Oh well, the moral of the story is, think twice before and your significant other decide to quit work to raise your kids.

How I Have Lost Over Half A Million Dollars Having Kids, So Far!

Since my son has been born, We have lost over half a million dollars in income!

How? 

My wife stopped working to be a stay-at-home mom, the day my son was born.

In her previous work life (before my son was born), my wife was an accountant.  Below is her calculated income based off of the last salary she received before becoming a stay-at-home mom.

Wages and
Year Bonuses
2000 40,000
2001 42,000
2002 44,100
2003 46,305
2004 48,620
2005 51,051
2006 53,604
2007 56,284
2008 59,098
2009 62,053
$503,115.70

I added a 5% standard of living increases for every year after the first year.  I really think she would have made more that the amounts that I have here, but this gets my point across.

We never projected out our future income loss, but as you can see it’s quite substancial (Augh).   With my wife’s former income steam, we could have be living an “Upper Middle” class lifestyle by now.  Vacationing in Paris for Christmas, owning new low-end luxury cars and maybe even a vacation home in the South…  we could have been really living it up

So, the question is, would we change anything if we had it to do over again?  Hmmm maybe! (initially I was going to say no, but half a million dollars is a lot of money).  I think given the choice, I’d at least ask her to continue to work part-time.

Why would I ask that of her?

  • Half a million dollars is a lot of money!
  • It would be nice to have a little bit of security, in case I were to get laid off
  • Half a million dollars is a lot of money!!
  • The kids would learn that everybody has to go to work to earn a living
  • Half a million dollars is a lot of money!!!
  • We would be able to increase our lifestyle, at least alittle bit.
  • Half a million dollars is a lot of money!!!!
  • The extra money could be a huge emergency saving fund
  • Half a million dollars is a lot of money…, really!!!!!!
  • The extra money could have been used to fully seed the kids College funds. (I’m fighting the savings battle with it right now).

All told though, I really do like the fact that the kids have a  mom that is there for them anytime… but, half a million dollars is a lot of money!!!!!

What would you do?  Live better and larger (at least a little), or forgo the money and be a stay-at-home mom?